Are we forming our kids in the way of capitalism and consumerism, or are we forming them in the sacrificial, hard but worth doing, work of following Jesus?
So much of what we believe and how we act as adults has its roots in how we were formed in childhood. So when we get the chance to participate in an important method of formation, we need to seize the opportunity.
My daughter is doing the 30 Hour Famine this weekend. I’m excited that she is going to experience fasting for the first time. But I’m frustrated that the focus is not on the fasting aspect. The only thing people are talking about is the money. We have walkathons and telethons, and now apparently we have fastathons.
The kids aren’t even allowed to participate in the famine unless they raise money, and if they raise $120, they get a t-shirt. There is a list that tells the kid’s names and how much they’ve raised. There is a list that tells the names of all the donors. There is even a donor ‘honor roll’ for the highest givers. A friend’s church even gave away a Kindle as a prize for raising money.
Why are we capitalizing Christianity?
What if someone doesn’t have anyone to ask for money and can’t afford to give money themselves? So now we are making it that poor people can’t fast? Can’t learn about global poverty?
It’s not just my church that is doing this. A lot of this is also done by World Vision, (although they are clear to state you don’t have to have money to participate).
And yes, I know money is needed, and that World Vision is a good organization with a healthy vision.
But.
We have turned fasting -FASTING- into a fundraising tactic.
The parents sit and talk about how much money their kids have raised, or how hard going without food will be, so they aren’t going to do it. There is no talk about how good the practice of fasting is going to be, or what the kids might learn from it, or how God might meet them in the midst of it.
I tried to explain to my daughter that we’re uncomfortable with this mixing of money and fasting, but we think the fasting is important enough that we’re letting her do it.
“But we’re fasting to raise money.”
That.is.not.what.fasting.is.about.
This particular event is unique in that most kids don’t have a chance to fast, or to do it in a group, as part of a community.
This is a great chance for kids to learn about poverty and hunger and develop empathy for other people. And I’m sure some of that will happen during the event. But an opportunity for teens to come face to face with their own limits, and maybe even face some brokenness within themselves is getting turned into a platform where rich Americans play savior.
I’m afraid by focusing on money and how much they are raising, that my daughter is being subtly formed in the language of us and them. I’m afraid she is learning that a church community is not a place to embrace brokenness, but a place to feel good about ourselves.
I would much rather that my kids, especially at that age, undergo a hard experience – one that will stick with them. I would so much rather they learn about fasting as a means of closeness with God, than as a means to the end of raising money. If we are only forming ourselves financially and neglecting forming ourselves spiritually, is the money worth it?
Going door to door, calling relatives, or hitting people up at church for money is not a spiritual formation.
Telling the kids they will be too busy playing games to focus on their hunger is not spiritual formation.
Why aren’t we embracing the hardness? Telling the kids it will be tough, but it is worth it? We need to be telling them that it is challenging, but it forms them in the way of Jesus.
If we want our kids to grow into sacrificial, spiritual adults, we have to give them more than financial goals. We need to require more of them than shilling for a cause.
“…we find clear evidence that many parents and churches have expectations of young people that are much too low or much too driven by cultural ideas of success…..Teenagers’ excitement about church, their willingness to attend….are not the same as spiritual growth. We must not equate youth attendance at programs with discipleship.” – You Lost Me
We are combining capitalism and Christianity and training our kids in the way of it. Does everything have to be reduced to money? Are there benefits to having our kids fast, for fasting’s sake? Must we highlight the discrepancies between kids and the money they raise? Must we reward them with prizes?
Fasting is hard. And it isn’t the be all end all of spirituality. But it can be a meaningful practice. So when we get the opportunity, let’s challenge our kids to engage with it. Talk about what we can learn from it and how God can interact with them through it. Let’s not run from or distract from it.
Admittedly, fasting is a large topic and one event isn’t enough to really delve into it. But can we at least scratch the surface with them? Can we at least focus on the spirituality of this event instead of how good of salesmen they are?
Do we want to be formed into people who do the hard work of loving and knowing and giving?
How can we expect our kids to grow up into adults who passionately and honestly follow Jesus, if we distract and detract them from even the depth of fasting?
“‘I did not choose such a fast,’ says the Lord; ‘rather, loose every bond of wrongdoing; untie the knows of violent dealings; cancel the debts of the oppressed; and tear apart every unjust contract. Break your bread for the hungry, and bring the homeless poor into your house. If you see a naked man, clothe him……and if you give bread to the hungry from your soul, and satisfy the humble soul, then your light shall rise up in the darkness, and your darkness shall be as midday.'” – Isaiah 58:6-7, 10 Orthodox Study Bible
Is fundraising the road that leads to becoming people who loose bonds, untie knots, cancel and tear apart, and bring people into our homes?
Creating an event around a spiritual practice designed to reveal our brokenness, taking a tool that could be used to create empathy, and instead treating it like a capitalistic venture might make us feel better about ourselves, but I doubt it will change our souls.
As I read this, what kept coming to mind was this:
Matthew 6:16-18 16 “And whenever you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces so as to show others that they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. 17 But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, 18 so that your fasting may be seen not by others but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.
I also have never understood the 30 hours thing. When my Jewish friends fast, there are different days that have different lengths of fasts, and the longest is 24 hours. As I go through Richard Foster’s “Celebration of Discipline” this year, one of the months I’ll be focusing on fasting, and I’ll probably ask them questions because they are the ones who do it on a regular basis.
Yes. With you here.
I don’t know why they picked 30 hours either. I’m guessing b/c it’s long enough to be hard, but also easy enough schedule wise. They eat lunch on Friday, and then they miss dinner, breakfast, and lunch, and then have supper together on Sat night. And it has a nice ring to it, lol.
Thanks Kim. Sad that so many people relate.
I am appalled by this in so many ways. I think your critique is right on target. What are we teaching the youth through this? And that they would make a particularly big deal out of who raises the most and who gives the most…it’s all about us, us, us. So much for not letting your right hand know what your left does. Wow. Just wow. So much potential here and so much misguided focus.
Have you called any of the leaders out on this? I’d be curious as to how they would defend it.
ummm…no. I’ve spoken up about other things, and I don’t want to be *that* person. I don’t think everything is drama worthy, and this issue is bigger than just my church. The website that keeps track of who gives the most and has all the names is World Vision run, so…it’s more than just a local church issue. We are talking to our daughter about it, and we are fasting on Good Friday, so I think we’ll spend some time talking about it with the kids leading up to that, too.
I’m with you. I love the idea in theory. Theory. But fasting is a whole beautiful discipline. I think the intent is good, just misguided. I’m glad you are being discerning and taking the time to show your children what is really important!
Good for you for calling out what needs to be said. It seems odd that you would have to raise money to fast. Maybe they should call it something else, not fasting then. Also… a Church gives away a Kindle for raising money?? My first thought would be, “Did my money go to buy that Kindle??” I can see how it sends mixed messages. I know they are trying to add a competitive aspect in order to get people involved but if it doesn’t create a lasting heart change then I think there’s something missing.
I am actually a little surprised by this. We were missionaries in a large Asian country and my daughter organized two 30 Hour Famines at her international school. Maybe because it was overseas, it wasn’t commercialized at all. The kids raised their money through donations and bake sales. The fasting is to help them understand what it feels like to be hungry and the activities also had that focus. The school also went on service trips to other poorer parts of our country and a neighboring country. The 30 Hour Famine has a powerful impact on many teens.
I was going to post my own comment, Caris, but I think Brenna said it best here. 😉
That is NOT the 30 Hour Famine I experienced as a teen. First, no list of donors was published. There was no emphasis on raising the most money. The money part was not about fundraising.
It was about doing something for real. Actually helping those in poverty instead of just talking about it. That’s the goal.
The goal is not fasting. The goal is to introduce them to how the rest of the world, outside of our limited bubble, lives. It’s not about games. It’s about waking up before dawn to renovate a homeless shelter. It’s about delivering food to the hungry while going without. It’s about dying to ourselves and self-sacrifice.
30 Hour Famine as I experienced it WAS brokenness incarnate. It was so eye-opening as missionaries shared about running into (instead of away from) the devastation from natural disaster in a Third World country, the kids our age who live in trash piles, the reality of living on less than a dollar a day. Then we went and engaged the poverty in our own small town. We put names and faces to the statistics that broke our hearts, not just in photos and videos, but with real people in our community. It made poverty tangible to a bunch of middle class church kids.
It was attended by three tiny youth groups totaling about 40 kids, maybe. No one outside of our churches really celebrated it or glorified it. We too had skeptical parents and church members, mainly those that had never experienced fasting, much less seen real poverty firsthand.
I haven’t had any real interaction with World Vision since then… that was ast least seven years ago… so it could have all changed. It could just be the leaders and the church setting. It looks different for everyone. But I did want to say, if you approach it with the right heart and vision, this will be an experience that your kids will look back on (at least through their mid-20s, I can fairly say) and remember that’s when their world was rocked for “the least of these.” The weekend that changed everything about how they thought about themselves and their calling as children of God and what Jesus’ words meant.
This was my experience when I did it in high school as well. I know the goal is empathy, and I’m hopeful that they will be doing meaningful activities this weekend towards that. I’m not wanting to be skeptical about the event as a whole, because I know how good it can be. And I know that fasting done this way is different than the biblical practice, but its still a good introductory look at it. But yeah, I was really disappointed with the WV website so prominently displaying money amounts and names, as well as pushing the money just ad much, if not more than the empathy and learning aspects of the event. The whole sponsorship aspect of it makes me uncomfortable.
Yeah, I don’t think the goal is really to dive in and explore fasting as a discipline, and I get that. But when it’s talking about money vs empathy and a biblical practice, i wish money came up last :/
Right?? I just…..I don’t know. I wish it was treated like it was when I did it. An empathic experience, with good service projects. And then at the end, maybe offer chil sponsorships or something, as an opportunityfor the event to stay personal and the teens getting to know people.
That sounds like it was a great experience. I would imagine it would feel very different experiencing it in another country. How cool!
Wow. Yes.
Pingback: Day 16 - World Food Day - Caris Adel